I have just finished my "last latter" yesterday.I was really excited,because my prpare of leaving is nearly finished.Except...that thing.I will buy it later cause I afraid it may be overdated.I really want to leave this planet,I hate here,I hate male!I feel afraid and angry when I see male every day.I want to kill them all!I can only choose to leave,I don't want to see something continue happen on this body!Body,it's the only and the last thing I can do for you.I choose this method as the first choice because I want to break this body,so that no one can hurt it anymore,body,it's for your own good.

I don't know what can I do anymore,I hate this planet,especially male.When I see them every day,I want to take out a knife to kill them!Why?I want to ask why!Why you treat me like that?Are you mad?You are my........you are my........I don't know how to say that word.You make me hate all the male!

I can't resist so that I can only choose to evade.I choose to leave this planet.Someday in August,I wait for you! 

  Haven't use this blog for nearly oen year!It's because I have opened another blog in qooza...After using that blog,I haven't update this blog anymore=[But don't worry,because I decided to update this blog when I have free time

  I think I must talk about what happened in this year.

  In this year,many things happened.In the end of last year,27th,December,2007,I entered hospital again,it is already the third time I enter a hospital,but this time is United Christian Hospital.I stayed there until 2nd,Feberary,2008.I should be happy on that day but I was really sad,because it is also the day Judy left me...She is living in USA now.Since that time,I decided to go!Actually,I had this idea long times ago,but I haven't palnned it seriously.The date I chose is in August.That means I still have about 1 month to do my paperation.I found 7 methods suitable for me to leave,I don't want to say what I will do in August here,I really want to success!

I have bought  most of tools,and have written a letter for people in this Planet.

I hope all of you can have a chance to read it

Nowadays,I cut my arm every day.My friend asked me today'Do you feel pain when you cut your arm?'I answered her'No'I am not telling tie,it's true.I can't feel pain,I just feel very excited,joyful and enjoyable.Whenever I feel upset,when I can't control myself,then I willl cut it.I find that I am now addicted in cutting my arm,what should I do?No one,even my dad and mum don't know either.After cutting my arm,I feel relax and I can forget the unhappy things,this makes me addictedin it.I can't find space to cut my arm as there are already full!I feel confused,I know I can't keep on doing it,but I can't stop it!

Today is already20-5-2007,,only a month before final.I don't think I had try my best in April..Final is really a important exam to me.If I keep on being so lazy,I don't think I can stay in St.Cat after HKCEE.If it come true,then I can see her anymore!I will work hard,but not for me,is for her.

Yeah!I am still alive,I have not died yet!Actually I don't want to die..But,without she,I don't know how to leave.On Monday,I asked weather she will leave or not.At that moment,I was prepared well for death.I planed to jump out of Block C.I did not sucess.Why?It's because her answer is'I still not sure'.I will die if she choose to leave.I will wait for her answer.Of cause,I hope she will stay in Hong Kong...

At reading time,she knocked the door and call me out.At that moment,I felt someone was going to hurt me,I was so scare!I didn't know what I was doing!I ran to Block C but she stopped me..Surely,I listened to her.While we were going to sick room.I suddenly ran very fast and hid.I got out of their control!Then I walked in the corridor and I didn't know what to do.Then I met the vice principle and they led me back to the classroom.

My lover,don't leave me!

Today our school dismissed in p.m.After 4 lessons,we had assembly in hall for 1st term closing ceremony.Many outstanding students got awards from Dr.Sun.Of course,I didn't get it.I am so jealous,why they are so clever?Why after my hard work,I still get a bad result?It's not fair...Um,I must learn them,to get a higher result than them!Go!Carmen,you can do it!I believe,one day,my hard work will pay off.

Today is the last day before Chinese New Year holiday,when I left the school,I had a very strange feeling,I don't want to leave,whenever I think I have a long holiday and no need to go to school,I feel upest,I miss St.Catharine's.Or maybe,I just miss her.My death is coming and I will go if she really leave..Actually,I want her has a better life with her husband overseas but,you know,I can't afford losing her.Life is hard if she isn't here.Maybe,go is the best solution.

26th Feb,don't come so quick,I still have something to do before my death.

I am so excited!!!!!!!It's because I have just received my Maths test paper.I got 17 out of 30.This is thr first time I get pass in my Maths test in F.4.My mark is ever higher than Hannah and Charity!I cannot believe my eye!Really cannot...But,actually I can get a higher mark,I just made a very careless mistake!Otherise,I can get twenty something.

I am quite busy these days,because I have to hand in a very professional homepage as CIT Chinese New Year holiday homework.You know,it's really green to me.I am a idiot of computer,I even cannot type Chinese,but I need to do it in Chinese.Although I have borrowed six books and four VCDs to learn,I still can't understand at all.Oh god!

It's nearly 1:00 now and I need to go to C7to ask Ms Chan for my Econ homework.

Work Hard for HKCEE!I must stay in St.Catharine's!

I have just bought a book from JP@Apm.The price of it is $160 but I found it's reallt a great one.The author of it is Mitch Albom,who is one of my favourite writter,I have also botght other two famous books which wrote by him---Tuesdays with Morrie and The five people You meet in heaven.These three books is so great so I highly recommen it to all of you. 

I have just done a bad thing,that is,I ate quite a big amount of washing powder..I don't know wether I will die or not,but it's bad for my health.It taste a bit bitter.Idon't know why I need to do it,or maybe I really want to leave.

All of these are because of her...I shouldn't say it,this path is my choice.

She may leave,but I don't want!I can't afford losing her.If she really leave.I am not brave to live anymore.So,don't leave me please!Please!Maybe you can't understand my feeling,my heart is very painful.I am not sure I will keep on doing things to hurt myself or not.

Waiting for the answer is the most hard thing in this World.